I’ve seen a neighbor woman who is very capable, managing her family’s life well, keeping her husband neat and tidy, following the idea of men working outside and women inside, trying to make the home perfect for the man to focus on his work.
The woman thought this was a good division of labor in a family.
But unexpectedly, the man still had an extramarital affair.
The woman couldn’t understand why her diligent efforts led to betrayal.
Faced with the woman’s questioning, the man helplessly replied, “You can do everything on your own and live well, but she can’t. She needs me.”
One sentence made the woman collapse. She realized that her hard work for the man’s “leisure” was actually preparing a wedding dress for another woman.
The woman said she also needed it, but the man said he couldn’t feel it.
If the kitchen dishes are dirty and the man washes them voluntarily, he will be driven away by the woman. If the washing machine at home is broken, the man reminds many times to come back and fix it, but the woman has already fixed it.
The man doesn’t know where his place is in the home.
In fact, a family requires contributions from both people, not just in terms of money but also in every aspect of life.
The more a man invests, the greater the sunk cost, and he can feel satisfied, thus willing to continue investing in the family.
But if the home becomes a hotel for the man, requiring no emotional or physical investment, naturally, his heart will wander.
A Lazy Woman Makes a Man Feel “Cared For”
I’m not actually a woman who can’t do anything.
Before getting married, when I worked outside, I handled many things on my own:
Travelling alone on a high-speed train to another city; renting a house alone in a strange city; facing a stubborn mineral water bottle cap with more force to open it; even when the washing machine broke, I would fix it step by step following the instructions.
But after being with my husband, I just wanted to be incompetent.
Because I’ve tasted the sweetness of incompetence:
I told him that I was afraid of slipping on icy roads in winter, so whenever it snowed, he would firmly hold my hand and repeatedly remind our son to protect his mother.
I visited a relative who had a stomach ache, pretending not to be able to get up, and he would pour me a cup of brown sugar water and ask if I felt any relief.
I could easily handle it without his help.
But that way, he was no different from an ordinary person in my life.
When I am lazy and make him feel that I can’t take care of myself, I clearly feel his responsibility increase, reducing socializing, increasing his efforts. Every time he does something for me, I generously say to him, “Honey, thanks to you again this time, I’m so grateful.”
Being lazy doesn’t mean being truly lazy. Love will become warmer in a wife’s laziness.
Marriage is supported by both people, and the relationship between spouses is a partnership.
Men don’t seek women to find a mother for themselves, so women don’t have to be capable in a marriage; Similarly, women don’t seek a son when being with a man, even if they love someone, they should love equally.
Your laziness is an opportunity for the other person to contribute and also an opportunity for them to love you.
Love is like a magnet, his contributions are effective in your relationship, and he will be more willing to take the initiative. Though you may be “lazy,” the love between you flows.