A friend once said, “After being together for seven years, love fades away gradually. The feeling between each other is no longer like lovers, but more like family.”
This is probably the current situation of many middle-aged couples.
Once love in a marriage turns into family affection, it means passion fades, and love gradually diminishes.
But can love really completely turn into pure family affection? In fact, love is always love, and the so-called transformation into family affection is just a fig leaf for marriage.
Love and Family Affection Have Fundamental Differences
Someone asked: What should one do in a marriage without love but only family affection?
Someone answered: In a marriage, without family affection, there is only love. The essence of marriage is two people coming together because of love. If a marriage loses love, there won’t be any family affection either.
Because family affection is like bones and tendons, it is a connection that will always be there, no matter when or what. Will marriage? Not really…
I strongly believe that.
Love arises between two unrelated individuals, based on emotional attraction, while family affection arises from blood relations. The two have fundamental differences.
For spouses, they come together because of love and compromise for love. If there is no love, only a faint sense of family affection, the relationship will become very fragile and cannot withstand tests.
I dislike turning love into family affection. Love is love, and family affection is family affection. That’s how it is between husband and wife. It’s not because we got married that we became family; it’s because we love each other and became more than family.
Never treat your lover as a family member. Over time, you may feel like family, but remember, you can only be lovers to each other.
Mistaking Love for Family Affection Makes Marriage Dull
A friend once lamented that after getting married, she focused all her energy on her husband and children, even seeing her husband as the closest family member. However, over time, the passion and romance between them faded, and they often argued over trivial matters.
She was puzzled why, in this relationship, she already considered the other person as someone to unconditionally trust and accommodate, yet he seemed to grow more and more tired of her.
Actually, her biggest mistake was mistaking love for family affection and treating her partner with a familial attitude instead of a lover’s.
People often say, “We’ve been married for so long, we’re just ‘family’ now, why bother with celebrations and such.” In reality, most of the reasons behind this are just excuses for not wanting to invest time and effort, thinking that the other person won’t leave anyway, so they become lazy in nurturing the relationship.
In the end, this so-called “family relationship” is just an excuse for not wanting to give love anymore.
Remember, in marriage, what is always needed is love. In this relationship, you are his wife, not his mother, and he is not just a father to your children but also your husband.
Regarding marriage, some praise it as the continuation and sublimation of love, while others curse it as the imprisonment and tomb of love.
Regardless of praise or curse, it proves the importance of love in marriage. Without love, marriage becomes a walled city that makes you want to escape at all times.
Love is always the initial intention of marriage and should be its theme.
If spouses want to get along well over the years, they must keep the flow of love, show more tenderness, add more life’s fun, engage in more communication, and create freshness in love.
When interacting with your partner, you must return to the identity of lovers for love to continue to exist.
Once love is lost, you can neither become family nor remain lovers to each other.
As a husband or wife, one must understand this principle to have a good marriage.