In relationships, having a strong mindset is crucial. By interacting with men using a strong mindset, you can avoid being influenced by their emotions and stand undefeated.
Many women often experience emotional ups and downs in relationships because they rely too much on men for their happiness.
If a man is affectionate, she is happy. If he becomes distant, she is sad. This kind of dependency on a man is easily hurtful.
Your happiness shouldn’t solely depend on how a man treats you. A woman with a strong mindset and stable core possesses absolute self-awareness. She’s not affected by men and can even influence their emotional experiences.
These women typically have high self-energy and don’t need validation from men. They are self-sufficient and can also give back to men based on their behavior.
This essentially shifts from seeking to actively providing. The one who gives voluntarily becomes the true leader in the relationship, holding the initiative as she can offer value and withdraw it at any time.
For instance, if I’m in a good mood today, I’ll pamper you, compliment you, and provide emotional value. If I’m upset, then there’s nothing for you.
Providing emotional value should not be about seeking approval. Your actions should aim to make him enjoy the feeling of being liked by you, gradually becoming addictive. Seeking approval, on the other hand, is about doing things to receive a reward and be remembered for your kindness, turning it into emotional manipulation.
For example, if a man is under a lot of work pressure, you can say, “Darling, you’ve been working so hard lately, I’ve been by your side all along.”
If you say these words expecting him to respond with, “Thank you, dear, you are so kind and considerate, I’m touched,” you’ll be happy.
If he doesn’t respond as expected, you’ll feel disappointed or even angry. This shifts from providing emotional value to subtly seeking and demanding, or even pleasing him, with your care aimed at making him remember your kindness.
There’s a distinction between seeking validation and giving. The former is about expecting something in return, while the latter is about acting based on your feelings, having the ability to give and withdraw at will.
It’s crucial not to feel resentful when sacrificing for a man. Sacrificial feelings arise when you feel you’ve given a lot without receiving the same in return, leading to increased demands and disappointments.
Women with a strong mindset are capable of loving without feeling inferior, always prioritizing their feelings.
If you’re used to sleeping early, don’t stay up late just to be with him. If you can’t handle spicy food, don’t force yourself to eat Sichuan hot pot just because he likes it.
After giving, avoid being overly conflicted or feeling like, “I’ve done so much for you, why are you treating me like this?”
Such behavior not only creates negative emotional experiences for men but may also make them disregard your efforts or even find you annoying.
When interacting with men, be sweet but firm. You can say many sweet words, act cute, show vulnerability, praise him, and provide emotional value directly.
But when necessary, be firm without being soft. Never waver, especially on matters of principle or when he has made a mistake. There must be boundaries, and wrong actions must have consequences.
Smart women in relationships are assertive, speaking softly but acting firmly. Some naive women, on the other hand, are the opposite, being verbally strong but emotionally weak.
For instance, they may say harsh words during an argument, then regret it later. If the man ignores them for a few hours, they panic and rush to apologize, explain, admit fault, and beg for forgiveness, just to prevent him from leaving.
In day-to-day interactions, they set various expectations, like reporting before going out, replying to messages promptly, saying goodnight and good morning, and expecting the man to comfort them after an argument.
However, when faced with significant conflicts, they back down, afraid to punish the man even when he crosses a line. Even in cases of infidelity, they hesitate to make the man face consequences, allowing him to take advantage because they know deep down they won’t leave him.
Hence, focus on the bigger picture, maintain your ground, uphold your principles and boundaries, and stop obsessing over why he isn’t reaching out or what he meant by a specific statement. Otherwise, you risk losing yourself.
Instead, reflect on whether this relationship helps you grow and become a better version of yourself.
Always prioritize your needs, focus solely on yourself, empower yourself, and only then will you attract men who truly love you.