Only after getting married did I realize that maintaining a marriage requires a “fresh-keeping rule”…
I’ve heard this sentence: “Love is like a flower, it needs constant watering and care to stay vibrant.”
It may sound cliché, but I strongly agree.
Don’t think that having a “marriage certificate” means the marriage can function normally or stay fresh.
The “marriage certificate” just proves a legal marital relationship, but it doesn’t guarantee a fresh or happy marriage. It’s not even necessarily related to love.
Some people enter marriage because of love, but not all marriages stem from love.
Love comes from hormones and dopamine, a physiological reaction; whereas managing a marriage requires learning and continuous accumulation.
To have a happy and fulfilling marriage, preserving its freshness is crucial. The following three fresh-keeping rules are the foundation of all marriage management.
Effective Communication
Marriage is like a bridge, connecting two entirely lonely worlds.
In marriage, the importance of communication is like the cornerstone of a bridge. No matter what issues arise, honest communication is key to understanding each other’s needs and expectations, avoiding unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts.
If communication is inadequate or lacking in a marriage, it can affect the relationship between spouses and even the entire family.
I have a vivid example around me.
My neighbors, married for less than two years, had a good relationship, but recently, due to increased work pressure, they were busy with their own matters and lacked communication.
The wife often felt her husband wasn’t caring enough, while the husband felt the wife was always complaining and criticizing.
This situation erupted a few nights ago. The wife, exhausted after work, hoped for comfort and company from her husband. However, he was preoccupied with work and didn’t notice her emotional state.
When the wife tried to express her feelings, the husband seemed distracted, offering only brief responses.
Feeling disappointed and frustrated, the wife thought her husband didn’t understand her needs. Meanwhile, the husband, annoyed by her complaints, felt he had tried his best but she was always unsatisfied, leading to a heated argument.
When my neighbors shared this incident with me, my immediate thought was: Communication is crucial in marriage.
Through effective communication, mutual understanding can be achieved, problems can be solved together, and misunderstandings and suspicions can be avoided, preserving the relationship.
Maintaining Individual Independence
In marriage, individual independence plays a crucial role. It not only relates to personal growth and development but is also a key element in maintaining a healthy and harmonious marriage.
Maintaining an independent attitude in marriage allows one to face life’s challenges with steadfast beliefs and an independent spirit.
Everyone has their dreams and pursuits, needing space and time to develop themselves.
Marriage is the union of two different individuals; we have souls of different colors, with differences and similarities.
In marriage, only by maintaining independence can we grow, progress, inject new vitality, and drive into the marriage.
Mutual Respect and Appreciation
In the past, communication was slow, letters traveled far, and one could only love one person in a lifetime.
This should be the right view of love and marriage.
In the journey of marriage, mutual appreciation is the secret to sustaining a beautiful relationship. With heartfelt love, supporting each other through all weathers, believing that love will endure.
Going out together, watching different movies in different cinemas. Coming home, one goes left, the other right. Separate bedrooms and study rooms, sharing the kitchen and dining room.
To others, this might seem unimaginable, like two strangers living under one roof. Yet surprisingly, between them, there is extreme trust.
Marriage is not a shackle, not an excuse to lose freedom, and definitely not a tomb for love.
In fact, in marriage, two people can be independent and vibrant, free and romantic.
Someone who truly loves you won’t clip your wings but will applaud your soaring.
After marriage, they indeed practice this—you have your thoughts and inner world, and I have mine.
We must learn to rely on each other, closely but not confused.
Good communication is the foundation of a happy marriage, maintaining individual independence is the basis of family harmony, and mutual respect and understanding are the source of continuous love in marriage.
Only when we have a pure sense of “self,” full of soul, can we have the basis for equal dialogue and the energy to nurture our relationship and care for each other.
In marriage, always remember that “we” are first “you” and “me.” Love “me” first before loving “us.”