There’s a saying: “Your over-accommodation is creating a marriage crisis.”
Let’s think carefully, and indeed, that’s the principle.
Some women always play the role of a good wife, trying to be perfect in every way, but in the end, they find that their sacrifices and dedications are met with their husband’s disdain.
Is it true that “a good woman is not loved, and a loved woman is not good”?
Why do women’s “goodness” become their original sin in the emotional world?
Why Does He Want a Divorce?
From “hand in hand” to “mutual attack,” what’s the source of this tragedy?
The wife, Nicole, is an actress, and her husband, Charlie, is a talented director.
For love, Nicole gave up her acting career in Los Angeles and followed Charlie to New York to support his dream.
At home, Nicole took care of everything, trying not to bother Charlie, even following his opinions on decoration and furniture.
However, her daily sacrifices and dedications only earned her husband’s contempt and indifference.
He would criticize her randomly, using vicious language to hurt her, without caring about her feelings.
It’s clear that in this family, Charlie holds the power, and she’s just a “tool person.”
Nicole felt frustrated and unhappy: “I used to be an actress, a star, but now I’m getting smaller and smaller, and I’ve never lived for myself.”
When women lose themselves in intimate relationships, they tend to become pleasers in marriage, and the originally equal relationship becomes unbalanced.
Such relationships are doomed to start with “high enthusiasm” and end with “low enthusiasm.”
As Ma De wrote in his book “Living as a Landscape”:
“Pleasing everyone means completely betraying yourself and ignoring your true inner heart.”
On the surface, they seem to be working hard to maintain the relationship, winning the other person’s heart.
But in reality, they’re filled with self-doubt and anxiety.
They often ask themselves:
“Why can’t he see all I’ve done for him?”
“Is it because I’m not good enough?”
“What else can I do for him?”
Like a friend who lived with her husband for a lifetime, sacrificing herself for a lifetime.
They fought, had cold wars, and experienced domestic violence every day.
But whenever someone suggested divorce, she would lower her head and say:
“We’ve been together for so many years, what’s the point of divorcing?”
She blamed herself for not meeting her husband’s expectations.
So she gave up the idea of leaving, trying even harder to maintain the relationship.
However, it’s precisely because of her unwillingness to resist that her husband became more and more reckless.
It’s precisely because of her silence that she suffered in this marriage.
As the saying goes:
“This broken marriage is not what she wanted, but it’s what she got herself into.”
“Bad” Women Are Worth Loving
From “I” to “we,” from one person to two, and then to a family of three, how should we face this new stage of life?
We should ask ourselves: Are we living for the family or for ourselves?
Someone answered: We should live for ourselves within the family.
We often have a heart that’s willing to sacrifice everything for the family.
However, many times, women sacrifice themselves in the process, constantly making concessions, squeezing their living space until they’re exhausted.
On the contrary, those seemingly “selfish” women who dare to pursue themselves and even appear “selfish” at times are more likely to grasp the initiative in marriage and live a more radiant life.
Meng Meng is such a person with a strong personality and independence.
After marriage, her husband wanted her to be a full-time mom, but she refused.
She said: “I need to have my own job.”
When her husband wanted her to have a child quickly, she refused again.
She said: “I’ll think about it when I’m ready.”
Her mother-in-law often argued with her and complained to her son.
But no matter what they said, Meng Meng stuck to her own ideas, working hard during the day and studying at night, constantly improving herself.
Seeing her determination and seriousness, her mother-in-law gradually stopped complaining.
Later, Meng Meng not only obtained her lawyer’s qualification but also became a project leader, achieving remarkable results.
Facing the challenges of marriage, Meng Meng always followed her own pace, never compromising or surrendering.
She took full responsibility for her life, never regretting her decisions.
Such a “bad” woman dares to live for herself, dares to take pleasure in herself.
She speaks out firmly in marriage, defending her rights.
She has the confidence to walk alongside her partner and the courage to leave at any time.
Being a “Bad” Woman Makes You Happier
“Each person must complete themselves.”
If you want to achieve long-term happiness in marriage, you must learn to be a “bad” woman.
Establish Psychological Boundaries and Respect Your Emotions
We should always grasp our lives in our own hands, never compromising or surrendering.
We must respect our own feelings.
Think about it: What makes us sad, lost, or helpless?
Listen to your inner voice and ask yourself:
Will this make me feel wronged?
Is this decision truly what I want?
Do I really feel happy?
Set boundaries for yourself based on these answers.
Once someone crosses the line, you must know how to refuse.
Because in this long journey of life, our feelings are the core of happiness.
Continuously Improve Yourself and Have the Courage to Leave
In psychology, there’s a theory called “personal construct theory.”
It tells us that if a person’s cognitive level is low, their thinking will be single-minded, lacking flexibility and creativity.
This is because their construct system may be limited, unable to adapt to complex and changing environments.
When we’re trapped in a bad relationship and can’t escape, try to change your perspective, actively improve your cognitive level, and broaden your horizons.
Insist on learning, constantly deepen yourself, and make your inner world richer and stronger.
Only then can you face life’s ups and downs with a calm attitude.
Learn to Calm Down and Find Your True Self
Happiness is not the absence of negative emotions but learning to coexist with them peacefully.
When emotions overwhelm us, find a quiet corner, do what you like, exercise, read, or take deep breaths.
Face anxiety and turmoil with a positive attitude, and learn to calm down.
Only then can you truly reconcile with yourself and discover the beauty that’s been ignored.
“I love the woman with a strong personality, who is confident and independent.”
The kind of woman a man loves forever is:
A confident, independent, and charming woman.
Such women not only have their own thoughts and lifestyle but also establish equal and respectful relationships with men.
They won’t overly rely on men, nor will they lose themselves and their principles.
Marriage is a woman’s training ground.
There’s joy, sorrow, happiness, and frustration.
But no matter what life brings, we must remember: never forget to love yourself.
A truly wise woman will never lose direction in emotions, nor will she give up herself.
Because they deeply know that before becoming a wife and mother, they are themselves.
A good intimate relationship should be a harbor for mutual growth, not a prison without emotions.
May every woman follow her heart, become the best version of herself, and bloom in love while maintaining her independence.