In a relationship without security, always feeling uncertain, it must be because the other party is lacking in some aspects.
Even if he says he loves you, but doesn’t act on it, it’s fake love.
If a man often says these things to you, it means he doesn’t truly love you.
Sarah: My boyfriend often praises my abilities, freely compliments me, but I don’t feel his genuine love.
We are colleagues, and he pursued me actively. We quickly got together.
Now, we live together, sharing expenses equally.
I come from a rural background, not raised extravagantly, so I can do many things.
But my boyfriend is the only child at home, pampered by his parents, so he doesn’t know how to do many things.
Most tasks in life are handled by me, like buying groceries, cooking on weekends, doing laundry, and cleaning.
After doing these tasks, my boyfriend would compliment my abilities. At first, I felt happy.
But gradually, that feeling changed. I suddenly realized he doesn’t truly love me.
If he truly loved me, even if he didn’t do chores before, he would share them with me, not just casually praise me after I finish.
Household chores aren’t difficult, one can always learn slowly, it’s just about willingness.
He makes me feel like he’s manipulating me into doing things, making me willingly put in effort for him.
Although I don’t want to admit it, I do feel this way. His love seems to be all talk, never actually sacrificing for me.
This fake feeling confuses me, making me truly believe he loves me.
Natalie: My boyfriend always talks about making my future better, but has never done anything for me, not even given me a birthday gift.
We both come from small towns, average family conditions, relying on ourselves after entering society.
Afraid of burdening my boyfriend too much, I never express needs in front of him. It would make me feel inferior if he couldn’t fulfill them.
This has made me the giver in our relationship. It seems like he hasn’t done anything for me.
My boyfriend often tells me that in the future, when he has money, he will make my life better. I would be touched.
But looking back, it seems like he has never done anything for me, not even giving me a birthday gift.
When I received a year-end bonus, the first thing I did was to treat him to a meal. But when he got his bonus, the first thing he did was to buy gaming equipment for himself.
It seems like he has never done a real thing for me. At crucial moments, he always thinks of himself.
When he has the ability to contribute to me, he shows no sign of it. Why would he treat me well in the future?
His words are just false promises to me. In the end, he loves himself more. At all critical moments, he only thinks of himself.
What he says to me may carry some sincerity, but definitely not as much as I imagine him loving me.
The things he hasn’t done now, whether he will do them in the future, are unknown. Don’t be deceived by false “promises.”
Emma: My boyfriend has told me he will never bring up breaking up, as long as I want to be with him, he will never leave me.
I’m a person who lacks security, needing my partner to repeatedly reaffirm their love for me, so I don’t overthink.
My boyfriend would comfort me, assure me he will never initiate a breakup, telling me not to worry.
As long as I still want to be with him, he won’t leave me and will always love me.
Although he has never mentioned breaking up, he would use silent treatment on me, not contacting me for a long time.
Even when I try to make amends, he shows no response.
Our relationship is such that though he has never mentioned leaving, he acts as if he wants to.
If he truly loved me, I wouldn’t believe he could ignore me for a long time, disregarding my emotional distress.
He knows I’m sensitive, yet he uses that method to torment me, plunging me into an emotional whirlpool. I have doubted more than once, is his cold violence a way to force a breakup?
He doesn’t want to be the one who breaks a promise. His words and actions have a huge contrast, making me unable to trust his true thoughts, causing me great distress.
Perhaps, he did love me before, but now he truly despises me.
For every day he ignores me, I should give up on him.
When your partner praises your abilities while watching from the sidelines, it’s just to make you the one who gives; saying he’ll make your life better without showing any action, only verbal promises; promising never to leave you, yet using emotional manipulation.